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Quello perfetto (the perfect one)

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Stanley Tucci was a guest on The Late Show recently with Stephen Colbert. Tucci was his usual dazzling urbanite self. Colbert, in trying to be the Perle Mesta of talk show hosts (look it up), surprised Tucci by pulling up a fully-loaded cocktail tray from behind his desk and then making two Vieux Carré’s. If unfamiliar, the Vieux Carré is considered one of the “Unforgettables” cocktails by the IBA, or International Bartenders Association, in their official classification. And yes, they do have more fun at their conventions than you do.

According to the IBA, The Unforgettables are the major league of spirits concoctions. Others in the top category include the Americano, Aviation, Brandy Alexander, Daiquiri, Dry Martini, Manhattan, Negroni, and Planter’s Punch. There are also a few more ancient and obscure entries on the list such as the Angel Face, Casino, Hanky Panky, Mary Pickford, and the notorious Monkey Gland. I’m thinking the Hanky Panky has to be an oxymoron in the cocktail world. Just as all roads lead to Rome, all cocktails can potentially lead to hanky panky.

Back to Colbert and Tucci, surely a law firm somewhere. After pulling up the cocktail tray, Stephen proceeded to make the aforementioned Vieux Carré’s. The drink itself originated in New Orleans and is said to have been invented by Walter Bergeron, a bartender at the Carousel Bar at the Hotel Monteleone. It’s made from rye whiskey, Cognac, sweet vermouth, Benedictine, and the local Peychaud’s bitters. All are combined, shaken or stirred (more on that in a moment), and served in an up glass, garnished with an orange twist and a maraschino cherry.

Colbert’s effort was like horseshoes, meaning it was close. He first dumped the pre-measured spirits into a glass mixing cup filled with ice, and then proceeded to take a bar spoon and stir the mixture a couple of times (!?). Afterward, he initially went to pour using a finger to strain the ice. Thankfully, Stanley stopped him, motioning to the cocktail strainer on the tray. Colbert used it to pour into two un-chilled cocktail glasses. He finished the proceedings with a grand gesture by tossing two pre-cut lemon twists into the glasses from afar. Finally, the two toasted and took a sip.

The interview focused on Tucci’s new book, “What I Ate in One Year (and related thoughts)”. It’s a diary of sorts chronicling what he ate every day in 2023. I liked his last book and will check this one out as well. As always, Stanley was charming and erudite. That said, I have a bone to pick with him. After hearing about it, you may think I’m whining about a technicality. But given the context—making a Negroni—it’s important.

A few years ago, Stanley released a video where he demonstrated how to make a Negroni. The video is well done with one exception: he didn’t use equal parts of the drink’s signature blend of Campari, sweet vermouth, and gin. Instead, he opted for what he called “double shots” of gin and sweet vermouth, but only a single shot of Campari. To which I say, not so fast, Stanley. You’re missing the gestalt of the Negroni. Specifically, it’s one of the few cocktails where the ingredients not only have to be measured (he did), but they absolutely must be in equal portions. Otherwise, the alchemy the cocktail is known for doesn’t happen. One can certainly use whatever measure one pleases, be it a splash or a deluge, but the ratio of Campari to gin to sweet vermouth must be the same. Think of it as the equilateral triangle of spirits geometry.

Again, you make think this is snit-picking. But any experienced bar keep will tell you that the Negroni has to be measured in equal parts to be a proper cocktail. I’m not talking about the mixology thing either. To that point, I remember going to a cocktail bar in downtown LA a number of years ago with a group of MS colleagues. We ordered off the bar menu, and then had to wait almost half an hour for our drinks. Meanwhile, we sat at a nearby table and watched the guy behind the bar go through convolutions to make our round of cocktails, even using an eye dropper and tweezers in the process. All the while I was thinking, just make a $%@! drink, will you.

Back to the Negroni. I think it’s the perfect cocktail. Change my mind on that one. Sure there are any number of other classics you might vote for to occupy the top spot. But to me, the Negroni is that rare cocktail where the sum transcends the individual parts. One more thing, and it concerns cocktail preparation. I’m of the mind that stirring a drink is superior to shaking it. I base my opinion on personal experience long ago when I was bartending at Bix in the City, still one of the great bastions of cocktails in the country.

At the time, owner Doug “Bix” Beiderbecke decided to conduct a blind tasting of Martinis. He selected ten gins from the back bar and then had a team of us bartenders make two martinis with each; one by stirring and the other by shaking. Then a team of “expert” judges tasted the line up blind. The winner was the Martini made with Beefeater 80-proof gin that was stirred and not shaken. Apologies to James Bond. More about him shortly.

Not to miss out on a formative educational experience, we bartenders also tasted all the Martini variations. For the record, my favorite—and I’m not a gin drinker—was made from Plymouth 80-proof gin and it was stirred. Some thoughts about that. First, Plymouth is still my favorite. It’s one of the smoothest gins on the market because the water used to make it comes from the Devon Moors and has relatively high pH. Our palates equate the high pH in the water—and the gin—as tasting smooth. By the way, in the Tucci video, Stanley uses Plymouth as well as Carpano Antica vermouth—the best.

So I’m a proponent of stirring cocktails vs. shaking them. The reason is because in stirring a cocktail, you are chilling the mix down quickly while forcibly adding air to it, which our palates also sense as a smooth texture. You may argue that shaking a cocktail likewise introduces air. However, in one instance, the air is limited to what’s in the cocktail shaker. In the other, the sky is literally the limit.

Otherwise, a nod to James Bond. Actually, to Ian Flemming for his world-class knowledge of food and drink, and how it came through in his writing. In one of the books, Bond orders a Negroni specifically requesting Gordon’s gin. At the time, Gordon’s was considered the classic London dry gin. To many, it still is. It’s also my wife Carla’s favorite gin. Needless to say, if Plymouth isn’t available, I opt for Gordon’s for my Negronis.

Recently, I was in Detroit for a training. I took an extra day at the end of the trip to overnight with good friends Steve and Lisa in Ann Arbor, the epicenter of the M Go Blue universe. Steve, a true cocktail afficionado and devotee, made me a superb—and quite large—Negroni. He used Gordon’s gin, Carpano Antica vermouth, and the ubiquitous Campari. And yes, he measured the ingredients in equal parts and stirred the drink. It was superb. In fact, it realigned my polarity in short order. That’s what all cocktails should aspire to do. Quello perfetto, indeed.


Speaking of cocktails …
my new book,
Strong Water: Tales of a Master Sommelier’s Life
in Food, Wine, and Restaurants,
is coming out soon.
Watch this space for the cover reveal and release news!


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